


28 Ways You Too Can Be an Illegal Immortal Vampire Homestay Student

by ankesenpaaten



Category: Noblesse (Manhwa)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-14
Updated: 2020-06-09
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:22:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24158068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ankesenpaaten/pseuds/ankesenpaaten
Summary: Raizel wakes up in 2017 after 110 years, not 820. Humans may change fast but dumb cinnamon rolls like Rai do not.Also featuring Rai's thoughts and digressions on a variety of subjects such as traffic lights, television, kakaotalk, the wildlife at his home (the squirrels are Stupid and the cats better not be chasing the birds and eating the fish or so help them God they will NOT get a salmon treat) and the intricacies of modern human life in the 21st century. He's a dumb cinnamon roll but very eager to learn pls indulge him
Relationships: Cadis Etrama di Raizel/Frankenstein (Noblesse)
Comments: 13
Kudos: 58





	1. Traffic Lights, Television, and KakaoTalk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wassup homies here we at. one time years ago my aunt got her Facebook connected to her new smartphone and proceeded to read out every single post I made in the previous few weeks and hearing a 70 year old woman speak in teenage slang physically pained me so I won't subject you to that 
> 
> Alternative summary: raizel wakes up in 2017 after sleeping for 110 years, not 820. He’s very mystified and fascinated with all the new technology, but perhaps he expects too much. Nobles don’t exactly have the best concept of human time.
> 
> Rai was expecting SPACESHIPS AND ALIENS bc franken secretly reads pulp scifi fiction in his free time and its given him an inaccurate view of humanity

He had been very confused upon waking up—-not the waking up part, as he expected and anticipated doing so, but the _after_. Stepping outside into the human world had always been fascinating and thrilling to Raizel, but not like this. Never like this. How long had he been asleep? How was this possible? The amount of advancements in human technology surely must have taken centuries and centuries! 

He wondered what Frankenstein had gotten up to while he was gone; most likely something spectacular and innovative, Frankenstein was excellent at that. He would normally feel extraordinarily guilty and lambast himself over what he could not have controlled or predicted, but that had got him nowhere and it would not be what Frankenstein would want, so he very bravely changed his thoughts. Bravely, for it was not an easy thing to change thousands of years of thought patterns. 

Above his head, beautiful lights changed colors and flashed; red, yellow, green; white human shape, red human shape; the colors signifying _walk_ and _don’t walk_ respectively (as he had learned from observing). He had learned later that the colored lights hanging above the street were called traffic lights; to control the traffic. Sensible. There was, of course, much more traffic than he had ever seen before, even in the busiest and most populated cities in the human world. Armoured vehicles flew down the street, stopping and going at the changing of the lights; people, so many people! speed walking or strolling, also following the lights’ demands. He wondered where they were going, what were they doing, who were they? He was still fascinated by human culture, and he expected he would be always. 

The lights themselves weren’t that surprising to him, having seen centuries of Frankenstein’s work in his lab, experimenting with this element and that one, but what he was surprised by was that they didn’t look like the bulbs that Frankenstein had so excitedly shown him. Plus, if they were supposed to be working all day and all night every day, would they not have to be replaced every day? Would that not be extremely impractical? Someone had to climb up there every day and replace the bulb….

The tinted colored glass he easily understood, and the light of the flame would shine against the glass and throw its color. Easy. But the bulb; and it _was_ a bulb because he couldn’t feel any magnets or heat in it. No heat! How was it possible for light to give off no heat! _Everything_ gave off heat; even Nobles made enough heat to regulate their body temperature. 

That wasn’t the only strange thing he had encountered: the doors! The doors that sensed him coming and automatically opened for him! The door opening automatically wasn’t strange; but how did it know he was there? How did it know he wished to go in? Was it possible that it had some kind of device inside it that could feel his desires telepathically? Its brain must be incredibly small…. Humans truly were capable of anything. 

He wandered (aimlessly, one might say, but he wasn’t aimless, he simply was enjoying his time), the blinking lights and signs in store windows guiding him. He stopped in front of a large screen behind a window; it flashed bright vibrant colors of a young woman singing and performing on a stage. Indistinguishable characters ran along the screen: 임수이 - 아임 오케이. 

He was disturbed in his contemplations by a passerby bumping his shoulder; he turned around, but the man was already down the street, busy busy busy like a worker bee. He wondered how his bees were doing at home in Lukedonia… how was the prosperity of their hive? Had they replaced their Queen who had troubling laying eggs lately? Not lately he supposed …. time was very confusing. He had always loved sitting with them, watching them work in the garden, hearing them discuss things amongst themselves (new food not far diagonal sun very good) through waggling their bodies, turning different directions, and altering their buzzing levels. 

They had even developed a word for him over time; he was “food source not flower very sweet friend friend friend”. He was sure they took care of themselves and the garden very well; he trusted them. 

The rabbits and squirrels and birds however…..he was not so sure. They were easy prey for the cats, forbidden from eating fish from the pond. Without him to moderate things, they would have to fend for themselves. The rabbits and birds would make it, but the squirrels had more trouble. Sometimes they would bury the acorns and seeds he’d given them in fall and forget where they were by winter….he had “helped” a few times by placing some new food on top of the buried food. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn’t. Their awareness varied. He sighed. 

The skunks however, did _not_ like the Lord. It wasn’t as if he had a colony of skunks living on the property; but one or two or a few would pass through occasionally to search for food, or to stop for water or shelter. The Lord had made the mistake of trying to engage them in conversation and sharing his newest “jokes” with them. They did _not_ appreciate it. The Lord had not visited his manor since, preferring to issue him letter summons that he chose to ignore, followed by _physical_ summons. (Meaning, he sent Gejutel instead to do his work for him. Many ruffled feathers ensued; Gejutel felt it was below his honor as the head of a prestigious clan to be used as a mere _messenger_ and so on and so on….)

A loud bell sounded in the distance, and Raizel looked around curiously to find its source. It must be noon then; humans went to pray at noon. Where was the church? 

A rush of people knocked past him, running to their destination. Most of them wore the white suit outfit he had adopted, and carried bags on their backs. They looked very worried, and he became concerned. What happened? Was something wrong? Was someone hurting them? 

A large body collided with him from behind; he turned around to help only to be face to face with a very tall redhead who was rubbing his head. 

“Ow! What the hell?” 

Raizel stared as he waited for him to open his eyes.

The redhead rubbed his head grumbling to himself; what he _said_ was _the one day I wake up early I’m still late anyway_ , and _it’s not even my fault what was I supposed to do shove the old lady out of the way so I could get off or something,_ and _Pedro better not be at the gate today_ …..but what he _thought_ was _did I walk into a fucking concrete block this guy has a skull as thick as a cinderblock people say I have a thick skull_ …

He squinted his eyes, trying to get rid of the black spots blinking in and out and engulfing his vision, before looking back at Raizel curiously. “.....Uhh….You should hurry up, you know. I mean, I know you’re probably okay because, _wow_ , but Pedro takes no hostages so we’re probably gonna have to do laps anyway, so might as well do them together. Suffering together is better than suffering alone and all, right?”

Raizel still stared, very confused. He had connected with the human’s mind, but his words were still…. incomprehensible. Laps? Laps of what? Late for what? Where was he supposed to go? He didn’t know that he had to be anywhere; in fact, he didn’t even know where he _was_ or _when_ he was, and if he didn’t, how could anyone predict it and know he would be here? 

The human frowned, waving his hand in front of Raizel’s face. “Uh, hello? You okay there?”

Okay? He was having trouble adjusting to speaking _out loud_ again ...he always had since he was a child. Thinking thoughts was always so much easier than voicing them; _thinking_ involved _feelings_ and _images_ and _ideas_ , while _speaking_ involved putting those thoughts into _words_. It was…. _extremely_ difficult, and he still could not imagine how humans could communicate verbally so _easily_ sometimes, didn’t the lack of telepathic communication frustrate them? Without it, you were just guessing about how someone felt, if something was bothering them, what they wanted with you, whether they were a person who felt nice to be around, or someone who felt cold and dead….

During yet another of Raizel’s internal monologues where he lost the meaning of time, the human had been staring at him very concerned, wondering if he was sick, deaf, one of _those_ Sick people his mom had always warned him to not talk to, before it clicked. “I got it! You’re a foreigner, aren’t you? You don’t speak Korean and this is your first day at school, right?”

He assumed he was a foreigner, he didn’t speak Korean well, and it _was_ his first day of being awake, so…. he nodded. 

“Oh shit. My English is so fucking bad….ahh what to say what to say how to talk to a foreigner…. _uh hello how are you? My name is Shinwoo! I like taekwondo and video games…...what’s your name?_ ”

His mind had finally adjusted and caught up to the new language (languages?); “Cadis Etrama di Raizel.”

“....huh?”

“Cadis Etrama di Raizel,” he tried again, speaking slower.

“Oh….. _that’s nice…very cool!_ ” Shinwoo struggled for words to say, scrounging the recesses of his mind for any more English words he could potentially use in this situation…. Damn it! If only he hadn’t napped so much in English class…..but Teacher Park was so fucking boring….

“ _Okay, I bring you to school. You know?”_

Raizel did not know, but he nodded anyway, hoping to make the human happy. 

Shinwoo puffed out his chest, patting himself on his back in his mind; and Suyi said his English sucked too much for foreigners to understand. As if! He got along just fine, thank you very much Miss _I’ve Been Overseas With My Fancy Job and I Know About Foreigners_. 

As they walked (Shinwoo didn’t see a point in running when he was already late; he would be running very soon anyway), Raizel heard a strange sound come from the human’s pocket. _Ka talk. Ka talk. Ka talk._

He frowned curiously. “Do you have a bird in your pocket?”

“Huh? No? What kind of question is that?” Shinwoo answered, pulling out his phone to see who had messaged him, before stopping abruptly. He gave Raizel a suspicious look out of the corner of his eye, “...You said you didn’t speak Korean.” 

“....You seemed excited to practice English so I didn’t want to disappoint you.”

Shinwoo held his suspicious gaze for a minute longer before huffing dramatically, “Yeah whatever. Ah, you’ll just keep causing me problems today, huh? Did Ikhan put a curse on me or something because I kicked his ass yesterday?”

Raizel felt conflicted despite his confusion; he didn’t want to cause trouble for anyone, and he had never asked the teenager to go with him, but he did seem to be causing him problems unintentionally…. “....I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, I’d be sorry if I was him too. That ass kicking was _brutal_ yesterday,” Shinwoo snickered to himself as he tapped open the app. 

Artanis the Destroyer _: hey man are you coming_

Artanis the Destroyer _: Shinwoo you better be awake_

Artanis the Destroyer _: I’m not gonna be your alarm clock anymore I swear_

Artanis the Destroyer _: pedros at the gate and he’s in a bad mood so you better hurry up_

Artanis the Destroyer _: or pray to god for mercy_

Artanis the Destroyer _: whatever you think best_

Artanis the Destroyer _: if you kill him I can change your record and get you out_

Jim Raynor _: ah shit really_

Jim Raynor _: coming_

“.....You shouldn’t beat people up. It’s not nice,” Raizel scolded, frowning a little in disapproval. 

“Yeah, but he was just _asking_ for it, bragging the whole time about how he’s so much _better_ than me, and how I’ll _never_ defeat him, and the secret to winning is all genetic, either you have it or you don’t blah blah blah, and I’ve _never_ beaten him before, so yesterday was like a miracle because he, Woo Ikhan made a _mistake_ for the first time ever in his StarCraft career and I, Han Shinwoo, was there to capitalize on it!” 

It sounded like they were in a competition of some sort? Well, that was all right then, he supposed. Just like the training programs they had back at home; the practice matches and sparring competitions. Anyone who agreed to participate also agreed to accept whatever consequences or injuries should occur. (Raskreia and Ragar always ended up placing at the top of their class; in the open competitions, members of the Kertia clan always marked high. The Ru didn’t do too well; stealth always defeated strength. Raskreia would always be extremely proud of her title, demanding people call her _Raskreia, Princess Warrior_ instead of _Miss Raskreia_ , _Princess_ , or _my Lady_. She _hated_ being called Princess, he remembered; “Princesses don't become princesses by sitting around and looking pretty, Raizel. They have to _earn_ it, by defending their home through combat with the enemy.”)

Shinwoo shoved his phone into his pocket as they approached the gate; as Ikhan had warned, Pedro was indeed at the gate. Damn it. 

Raizel stopped behind him, looking at the tall gate and stately buildings. He felt Frankenstein’s presence very strongly; not only, of course, mentally, but from the design choices. The sleek and sophisticated simplicity of the buildings, the influence from NeoClassical architecture (as he had learned it was called; to him it was just how buildings looked), and the extreme tidiness of the whole yard felt very strongly of Frankenstein. 

Shinwoo sighed as he walked through the gate, Raizel following after him. If Pedro saw a foreign student, he might be more lenient and let him off to disguise his embarrassment at not understanding English. Maybe. He could hope.

“Come on, we’re already late...I mean, I know I’m not the best role model for academic success, but you shouldn’t be late on your first day!” 

Raizel looked at him curiously, not sure how to respond. He still didn’t know what he was late for; late for meeting Frankenstein? Yes, he supposed, but how did Frankenstein know he was awake and where to find him? He hadn’t felt any response along the bond….

Was this Frankenstein’s manor then? And all these his servants and workers? He always did love having someone to share his work with. 

“What am I late for?” He decided to ask, almost to himself and like he didn’t expect an answer. 

“For Pedro to torture us, duh—“

“Han Shinwoo. Late again on this lovely morning I see.” A large man with a scar across his face had stalked over to them while Raizel was pondering whether to ask his question or not. So much happened while he was thinking; human time was extremely confusing. He didn’t understand how they did everything so _fast._

…...? Torture? If this was Frankenstein’s manor, he was having people tortured? That didn’t make sense. If he needed data and test subjects, people were always more than willing to volunteer….and he would never do that to humans. Humans who were traitors were fed to Dark Spear, which, he supposed was a form of torture, but….He would keep it in mind and investigate any suspicious clues later. Frankenstein was too trusting; it was possible one of his servants was operating without his knowledge or consent. 

Shinwoo chuckled nervously as he rubbed the back of his head, “Teacher Santos, it's lovely to see you on this beautiful day! Beautiful….just like you!" he tried.

Pedro didn't look convinced; in fact, he looked even more disapproving. Shinwoo gulped and tried again. 

"Uhh, you see, I'm late today for a good reason. When I was walking here, on time, I kind of ran into a new exchange student. We literally ran into each other! Well….I ran into him and he stayed still but I mean look at that figure, I know he doesn't _look_ like much, but I swear he's built like a _rock_ ……"

If possible, Pedro was even more unimpressed. Oops. He'd better get to the point. 

"Anyway he was lost, so I brought him here with me and that's why we're late! We had …. communication problems. You know, because he doesn't speak Korean well and everything…."

“A new foreign exchange student?”

Pedro gave Raizel a suspicious once over, before staring at him directly in the eyes; Raizel didn’t know what he was looking for, but he did his best to fulfill the role of a human foreign exchange student. He wasn’t exactly sure what one was or what was expected of them, but he did his best from the images in Shinwoo’s mind.

Pedro stared at him a little bit longer before grunting, disappointed. “Fine. Your lateness this time can be excused. But if I catch you again, you know what you face. Go to the Principal's office.”

Shinwoo perked up, excitedly saluting Pedro. “Right, of course! Well, we're already really very late to class, and I'd hate to miss more of Teacher Park's class today, we're reading _A Dream of Nine Clouds_ and all, so goodbye Teacher!” Pulling Raizel’s hand again, he began to almost run to the school doors. No laps this time? This new kid must be a good luck charm! If he kept him around long enough, maybe he’d even become a millionaire—

“Wait. I never said _you_ could leave, Shinwoo. Only the new exchange student.” 

Shinwoo stopped dead in his tracks, dread dripping its way down his spine. No way….no way could anyone be so cruel….

“.....but….as Principal Lee says, isn’t it our duty as empowered citizens and members of the human race to help each other? Especially the needy and the lost? I can’t think of anyone who’s more needy or lost, Teacher! He’s the greatest symbol of our school motto! He should be our school mascot! He should be on our school’s newsletters! If I don’t help him, then have I even learned anything from this school? As Principal Lee says, education isn’t just about memorizing facts and concepts but about growing as a person and becoming more compassionate and open minded and empathetic—“

“ _Shinwoo_. Be quiet. If you stop talking you can go,” Pedro said, rubbing his eyes tiredly. He felt a migraine coming on.

Shinwoo wasted no time speeding away into the school, throwing a “Thanks teacher!” over his shoulder and pulling Raizel along with him, clutching onto him like a capsized sailor clinging to a life buoy. 

Raizel had watched this whole exchange confused, fascinated, interested...

The second Shinwoo closed the door behind them, he sighed dramatically, sagging against it in relief. “Ahh…. Thanks, Rai. Can I call you that, Rai? It’s a lot shorter, and your name is really long…..and anyway, thanks for saving me from Pedro!”

Raizel nodded. No one had ever called him “Rai” before, but it was nice. He was more used to being called Raizel (though, for state visits, everyone insisted on using his full title…. he disliked formality very much. He didn’t want to make anyone uncomfortable or create a stiff atmosphere. He wanted people to be relaxed and enjoy themselves in his presence….) but Rai was nice. It was endearing, how humans created nicknames for things and people they loved. It was a sign of affection, just like how the cats would loop between his legs or nuzzle him with their heads, or how the wolf cubs they rescued would lick his face and try to bathe him. 

“Okay okay. Let’s go. Principal Lee’s office! You’ll like him, he’s very nice. Even when you get on his bad side and do something stupid like act out in class, or disagree with a teacher, or get into a fight...and he doesn’t even yell at you or say what you did was stupid, he just looks disappointed like a father would, but not at you, but at himself, like he’s mad at himself for not teaching you properly or something…..” Shinwoo scratched his head as he thought, starting to walk down the hallway; he did not hold Raizel’s hand this time, trusting him to follow. Skin to skin touch was never as important or necessary to nobles as it was to humans, but Raizel still found himself missing the contact, even only slightly; he had never been an orthodox noble after all. He was friendlier and more compassionate to everyone he met (instead of picking and choosing _who_ deserved _what_ based on their social status), more interested in life forms outside the noble world (outside of either noble or werewolf society, the rest of the world was considered irrelevant), and not interested in games of pride or bravery or bragging.

While all true nobles respected humans, they did so in the way an adult sometimes would humor a child; they might think they know everything, but they didn’t know what was best for them and needed to be protected. Raizel, however, thought humans were _above_ nobles; their souls were so _bright_ and _lively_ and _loud_ and _busy_. They burned with the intensity of a star burning out of existence. Because their lives were so much shorter, they had much less time to focus or obsess about pointless nonsense like pride and honor; they focused on things that mattered to them, like friends and family, dreams and desires, entertainment and art….

Nobles had all these things, of course, but ….differently. 

They especially did not spend centuries holding grudges and bringing up old arguments and disagreements only for the reason that they _could_. When Raskreia would let go of her insecurity around her heritage and birth, Raizel did not know. He only hoped it was sometime soon, because if he had to spend another few hundred years with her treating him like a criminal ready to steal away her throne or blaming him for their cats always liking him more, he did not know how he would manage. He was, of course, sad to see her leave the manor, but also extremely relieved because he was so tired (annoyed?) of feeling her sullen attitude or seeing her pout (she thought it was frowning; it was _not_ frowning, it was pouting). 

By the time he had finished all these thoughts, they had already arrived at the Principal’s office; Raizel was broken out of his contemplations by Shinwoo waving his hand in front of his face.

“....uhhh hey Rai? You there? Did the aliens come and abduct you like on tv? Are you okay?” 

“....Where else would I be?”

Aliens? He didn’t understand. What were aliens? He knew what the _word_ meant, but he didn’t understand the concept. Theoretically speaking, he _was_ an alien here...wherever this was.

(It had occurred to him after walking through the door and seeing _YE RAN PRIVATE HIGH SCHOOL 예란 사립고등학교_ that he was, in fact, in a school. He did know _that_ much. He knew what a school was, even if a modern school was different than what he was used to, but after all, education had not changed much since the beginning of human history. What he didn't know was _where_ the school was. It did not look much like anything he had known, but then again, there was much he did not know about human societies.) 

“I don’t know, I’ve been calling your name for like, five minutes, but you were completely out of it, like you were staring into space…..”

Was five minutes a long or short time to wait for a response? He wasn’t sure. He could be into his thoughts for …. hours? He didn’t know. 

“Anyway, this is the Principal’s office. Go in. I’ll see you later at lunch? It’s on me as thanks for you saving me today. I gotta go to class now, I’ve already talked to the Principal, so he knows you’re here. See you later!” Shinwoo clasped him on the back playfully (but a little too hard), before walking down the hallway. 

Raizel watched him go, thinking about his back. Another strange human bonding ritual, he supposed. Slapping someone means you trust each other enough to know neither of you are threats. Understandable; it was the same way that the cats would close their eyes around him to show him he was a friend. 

….But he knew slapping someone on the _face_ was an insult, so how was slapping someone on the _back_ different? Perhaps because slapping the face was meant to disfigure, and slapping the back was to help, such as in the case of a human choking on something? 

Regardless, Frankenstein was the Principal of this school; he could gather that much, even without feeling the pulse of his energy behind the door.

The door was already open, so he stepped through into the room. (He _did,_ however, know how to open doorknobs, no matter how much Muzaka would tease him about his unfamiliarity with human technology.)

Lining the walls were tall bookcases, artfully decorated with books on various subjects and awards from all sorts of competitions. 

_Peacock indeed,_ he thought.

Frankenstein was sitting at the desk, a large computer screen (he had picked up the word from Shinwoo’s mind) to the right of him, and the desk covered in neatly arranged piles of paperwork. On top of those, of course, was less than neat papers spread haphazardly. 

He shut the door behind him, before waiting for a response. Should he walk up to the desk? Should he say something? The bond was still completely silent (but _there_ ), like it was mute. 

He wasn’t sure what the appropriate protocol for ‘meeting someone one is intimately acquainted with after a long extended period apart due to sudden disappearance from unforeseen circumstances’ was.

He wasn’t sure there _was_ protocol for this situation, but there was protocol for every sort of niche or unlikely situation in proper noble society. For a society where its inhabitants lived for thousands and thousands of years, there were bound to be a lot of strange and unusual rules of propriety; how to act towards someone thousands of years older than you but lower in status; how to act when someone is younger than you, higher in status, and your grandsire’s aunt’s cousin; how to act when your adopted sister (younger by an irrelevant margin) is the Lord’s chosen heir and the Princess yet theoretically you are on the same status level as her, perhaps, technically, even higher because now you are no longer the heir to the Noblesse, but the Noblesse themselves, while she is still the Princess and not yet the Lord. 

Well. There hadn’t exactly been a protocol for the last situation before Raizel had created one, so he figured he could just as well create a protocol for _this_ situation as well. Needs must, after all. 

Raizel came out of his reverie on _protocol_ and _etiquette_ to see Frankenstein just staring at him, in seeming disbelief. He wondered, briefly, how long he had been focused on thinking this time. It was beginning to become a problem now that he was in the human world, where people weren’t as willing to spend hours waiting for a response. After all, hours to a human were likely days to a noble; even the most patient noble would become annoyed at that point, he reasoned. 

Frankenstein still had not said anything, moved, or even, it seemed, _breathed_ , so Raizel supposed he needed to take the initiative this time; after all, he had been the one rude enough to disappear for the Lord knows how long, and to suddenly just reappear, whenever he liked? It must be infuriating, especially to someone who valued their self respect as much as Frankenstein did. First step was greeting, second step was an apology. Right. He could do this. 

“It’s been a while, hasn’t it, Franken—-“

“No.”

“....Pardon?”

“No.”

“.....No?”

“Congratulations on your listening comprehension. _No_.”

“......I don’t understand. No what?”

“I mean _no_. _You_ know exactly what you’re doing, and _I_ know exactly what you’re doing, so let’s skip the charade and stop wasting my time because I have things to do.”

Raizel frowned, his brow creasing. He was extremely confused, even more than when he had woken up. No? Was Frankenstein so upset with him over his disappearance? He knew it was rude, he regretted it immensely, and he intended to apologize immediately …. but how could he, if Frankenstein did not want to hear him?

“Well? You’re still here? Your bravery does you credit, so it’s a shame your stupidity does not.”

“....I’m sorry—“

“If you were _sorry_ , you wouldn’t come marching into my place of work playing dress up with my missing Master’s face!”

“Whose face should I have instead? Would you rather someone else?” It was a very strange request, but it _was_ Raizel’s responsibility to correct his fault, so who was he to judge (in this case) someone’s desires?

“Your own, Muzaka. Don’t act so stupid, it doesn’t suit you.”

“....I am not Muzaka, but ...if you would prefer his face to mine, I can arrange that for you.” He wanted to be helpful; he was trying so very hard to be helpful. 

“Oh please, like my Master would ever walk in here in a _child’s_ _uniform_. He has more class than that. And you’re overdoing the naivety act a bit, don't you think?” 

Well, that was a bit hurtful. It wasn't an act, he genuinely wanted to help in the best way he could….he bit his lip, unsure of what to do. He had not anticipated this situation, but then again, he hadn’t anticipated very much about this whole situation at all.

“What can I do to prove to you my identity?”

“If you’re truly insisting on playing this game, if you were _truly_ my Master, you would show me memories only you would have. Memories you never shared with anyone else.” He took off his glasses, putting them down on the paperwork. “Well, _living_ that is,” he muttered to himself. 

Raizel nodded. Of course he could do this; telepathic communication had always come easier to him than physically speaking. He opened his mind and the bond to Frankenstein, and waited. He was showing him memories of his childhood; when Father would desperately encourage him to _Raizel we are not leaving this room until you try to speak you know you must learn to do this eventually so why must you be so difficult?_ , while Mother would tell him that you couldn’t force development in children, just like you couldn’t force a plant to grow if it didn’t want to, didn’t he know anything about children? He would be wasting his time, trying to cultivate a fallow field in wintertime: fighting against a natural power that did not owe him anything and resented his efforts to force his way through. Mother liked human expressions a lot; they seemed to all revolve around _farming_ and _nature_ and _livestock_. 

Mother would talk to him about everything, mouthing the words very clearly to him. Sometimes he would like the way one sounded and repeat after her, mouthing the words silently when saying it in his mind. For the first few years after he started to speak physically, he had what humans called a stutter; it came out strongly when he was intimidated by strangers who _felt_ Wrong, like Lagus Tradio. 

“It _is_ you…. my apologies, Master.”

“There is no need.”

“Master…. where have you been?”

“Sleeping. When I opened my eyes, I was in a strange building not far from here…”

“You woke up here? In Korea?” At Raizel’s nod, he laced his fingers in front of his face, resting his elbows on the table. “How could you have ended up here?” he muttered to himself.

Ah! Suddenly, a thought occurred to Raizel, something he’d been wanting to ask about. “Frankenstein, has Muzaka been bothering you?” he asked concerned. 

“Bothering? No, being a nuisance is more apt. Though I suppose I can’t blame him for it; after all, it would be the same as scolding a dog for barking. It’s who they are.”

“What do you mean he’s been borrowing my face?”

Frankenstein frowned. “ _That_. Yes, well, he seemed to get his hands—or, well, _ears_ —on someone who could teach him how to change how he was perceived by others; essentially, how to project an image upon himself to change his appearance. He’s been “visiting” me ever since he woke up. The first time he came as _you_ , I almost strangled him….”

“I’m sorry. That must have been very upsetting for you. I can talk to him and make him apologize.” 

“There’s no need. I’ve punished him enough. But, Master, what is the last thing you remember?”

“...... I don’t know. I was heavily wounded, in lots of pain…. I wasn’t thinking very much.”

“I already know what happened. Muzaka told me.”

Translation: _I know you’re lying, tell me the truth._

“....... there was a disagreement between the local governor and … some criminals so they threatened to blow up a school and take the remaining human children as hostages, so I could not let that happen…"

“So you sacrificed your wellbeing again, and instead of calling for help, you decided to take them all on by yourself?”

“Muzaka was there.”

At this, Raizel was given The Look; the one that said _stop bullshitting me._

 _“_ Muzaka said he was escorting the children to safety while you distracted them. In fact, he said you told him to do so.”

“......I underestimated my strength and I shattered my arms, so I had to use my powers to subdue the attackers and escape.”

“And who were the attackers? Muzaka said he didn’t recognize them.”

"Humans who had cooperated with some nobles. Some were Central Knights, and I recognized members of Clan Cratos, Clan Argae…"

“Those clans are under the jurisdiction of Tradio and Siriana, aren’t they?”

“.....Yes.”

“So it’s likely that Zarga and Lagus knew, sponsored it, or directly ordered them to do so. In any case, this does not bode well.”

“No, it does not. Lagus has connections with crime, but Zarga….”

“He’s a manipulative two timing sleazy common criminal who fancies himself as a high society crime lord.” 

“That’s not entirely fair.”

“No, but is it wrong?”

“....No.”

“Why didn’t you just sentence them right away? Were you giving them a chance to repent?”

“They claimed they had information about my brother.” At _that_ , Frankenstein raised an eyebrow.

Their conversation was interrupted by the shrill ring ring ring of the, what looked like to Raizel, telephone, but it was oddly shaped and different from what he knew. 

He curiously looked at it as Frankenstein pressed a button to hear the messenger. 

“ _Chairman Lee, the new school menus have been finished. Would you like to taste the results?”_

A telephone that didn’t make one hold it up to their ear. Reasonable. However, Frankenstein picked up the receiver so he could attend to his Master while still attending to business. He cradled the phone between his shoulder and head, walking over to the sideboard to prepare tea for his Master. What should it be today …. it was a very special teatime, after all. One of the most important teatimes of all: his Master’s first tea back. It had to be _exactly_ right. Hmm, his Master liked sweets, so perhaps he would enjoy a refreshing hibiscus with orange peel? Or should he keep it traditional and serve some linden tea? These were the last of the leaves he had collected this year; next time he went back to the area around the manor, he would collect, dry, and store more. It was morning, maybe Earl Grey? With lots of sugar? Korean teas were too bitter for his Master; barley tea would taste burnt and bland to someone so used to honey and sweets. Linden tea it was. As for the new information about various traitor clans having supposedly “new” information about Master's brother, he would drop the topic for now and do his own research. 

Throughout his entire monologue about tea choices, he had been half listening to the secretary, humming and yesing at the appropriate moments; occasionally throwing in a I see or yes that’s right. 

“Is that all then?”

“ _Yes, thank you very much Chairman. I will follow through with your instructions.”_

Hanging up the phone, he placed the tea in front of his Master's place at the table. 

Raizel nodded appreciatively, before taking a sip; the heat, apparently, did not bother nobles. The first time Frankenstein had seen his not-yet-Master drink immediately from a steaming hot teacup he had the vague impression of what he was sure would be like watching a trainwreck in slow motion, unable to stop it. However, instead of a gruesome horrific crash, with bodies strewn carelessly about, his Master simply put the tea cup down without a reaction, as if this was normal. Frankenstein was flabbergasted and mildly horrified; imagine the burns a human would have if they attempted such a thing….

He smiled, overcome with the feelings of tranquility and domesticity; of things being _how he wanted them_ again. It _had_ been a while...

Raizel gave him a small smile, his feelings making themselves known without words. _Of course, I missed you too._ Even if for him, it was only a day ago that he had last seen Frankenstein.

“Frankenstein….” he started, not wanting to ask the question, not wanting to know, but needing to eventually…

“Yes, Master?”

“How long have I been asleep?” he asked, resigned to the answer. 

“From when I last saw you, approximately one hundred and ten years, three weeks, one day, and thirty three seconds.”

“....one hundred and ten years?”

“Yes.”

“.....Is that really all?”

“Yes, Master.”

The toll of a shrill bell broke their conversation (again, that seemed to happen a lot here? Humans were _so_ busy); Class was over then. He suddenly remembered a promise he had made to Shinwoo earlier that morning (well, Shinwoo had made to him). 

He placed his teacup delicately on the coaster, careful not to scratch the wood on Frankenstein’s table, before standing up and straightening his clothes.

“Master?”

“I need to go to class now. I promised Shinwoo I would eat lunch with him as a thank you for saving him from doing laps.”

“.....All right. I’ll handle everything that needs to be done. Would you like me to show you to the cafeteria?”

He hesitated; he _did_ need help finding the cafeteria, but if he wanted to fit in as a “normal student” would it not be weird to have the Chairman himself show him such special attention? People might get jealous; they might say Frankenstein was unfairly favoring him, or that he harbored unprofessional and illegal feelings towards a student, unfairly maligning his professional reputation. Whether he was or was not a minor, or a student, and thus those feelings were neither unprofessional nor illegal was irrelevant to those who would make accusations like that in the first place, as he had learned. 

Yet, if he went himself, he would likely get lost, and by the time he found his way, lunch would most likely be long over, and Shinwoo would believe he had purposefully missed their appointment and didn’t want to eat with him, and that could _not_ happen. Frankenstein would also enjoy helping his Master in any way and spending any time at all with him, after his long unexpected absence anyway….

He nodded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> • I know traffic lights aren't like that in korea but I'm keeping it for the aesthetic  
> •rai is a curious baby and he has lots of animal friends in the forest and I personally think it's very offensive Frankenstein doesnt count them when he says Rai had no friends  
> •suyi is not an idol in this bc I think that's stupid and sjh had no real idea about what an idols life is like so shes an amateur actress here. Probably gonna be a musical actress one day. She got to do a music video for a promotional campaign and that's what's playing on the tv. The text says Im Suyi I'm Okay  
> •rai be like "how do the doors know I'm here where are their brains?"  
> •katalk katalk katalk  
> •pedros father is a foreigner and he was born on an American base bc there is no way you can tell me someone would name their full korean son Pedro, I was thinking Latino American but whatever works for u  
> •raskreia is adopted as rais sister and shes always been bitter about this bc I want to explore noble family dynamics and it's also just fact dont @ me  
> •dont ask how noble social hierarchy works unless you want to sit here forever  
> •rais brother is not evil and one dimensional in this but he is also not a pure never hurt anyone unrealistically moral and just person like Rai is, hes more gray like early Frankenstein was  
> •also rais brother is more than just a badly used plot point and he’s a separate person from Rai but he is very important to him and he went missing and that’s all we know rn  
> •Linden tea is a popular tea in Romania especially transylvania where my Lukedonia is located because why would you take vampires and put them in the TROPICS do u WANT them to burn  
> •also we’re not doing the dumb explanation SJH gives for rais disappearance bc that’s stupid so when it’s mentioned in this chapter it’s something completely different and there is no Ashleen or a half baked conspiracy plot  
> •artanis the destroyer and Jim raynor are characters from Starcraft. Starcraft was the most popular video game in Korea from 1998 until like a few years ago. Shinwoo and Ikhan are old school  
> • stay tuned next time when Rai eats lunch with Shinwoo and the girls and gets a crash course in modern human teenagers


	2. Mukbang, Mochi, Mental Health

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rai eats with Shinwoo, then Shinwoo and Suyi, then Shinwoo, Suyi, and Yuna, and gets a crash course in the politics of teenagers in modern day Korea.

Walking into the area called the "cafeteria", Raizel took a minute to absorb the sights and absorb the atmosphere. He had agreed (well... _arranged_ , Frankenstein certainly didn’t _agree_ ) with Frankenstein that he only needed to be walked to the door, otherwise Raizel had no doubt he would proceed to serve him like they were in their manor, not in a public building. That would not be a good first impression amongst normal human children; if he wanted to fit in, he needed to act how they would. Having the Principal of the school _serve him food_ was not something normal human children did. (He thought. He was fairly sure. But again, what did he really know about human customs, like his brother had said?)

A sign on the counter proudly proclaimed today's lunch to be heukbap, kungnamul muchim, kimchi, miyeokguk, and a little container of Yakult for dessert (the sugar free kind, it specified.) 

The size of the room wasn't like the towering lengths of formal dining rooms some Noble families had in Lukedonia (theirs had been converted to a small and intimate dining area), but it was very ….comfortable. There was enough room for everyone without it feeling too crowded or cramped. It was, of course, kept fastidiously clean; the cream white walls and stark white floor tiles were spotless. Pops of color were arranged around the room in various decorations; red and yellow were the most common. There were cute watercolor posters emphasizing good eating habits and proper hygiene skills, proper food handling methods, and one that drew attention to various types of eating disorders, statistics and symptoms, and urged students to contact a number to schedule a confidential meeting with a psychologist specialized in eating disorders at the school. It was expected of Frankenstein; the decor was classy and refined, wasn't too garish or bright, and was immaculate. 

One of the posters on the wall drew his eye; it proclaimed, " _End the stigma. Eating disorders are just as curable as the common cold! Get help today. Call: 02-312-3456 for help._ ”

He picked up the accompanying pamphlet and read it curiously. 

It read: 

“ _Q: What is an eating disorder?_

_A: An eating disorder is a condition when a person develops an unhealthy relationship with food; symptoms can include obsessing over numbers: calories, weight, nutritional facts; organizing food as either “good” or “bad”; using food as a “reward” or a “punishment”._

_Q: How many people suffer from eating disorders? A: Worldwide, an estimated 70 million people suffer from some kind of eating disorder. It affects people of all age groups and social status: some famous celebrities include Orange Caramel’s Lizzy, Oh My Girl's Jine, and actress IU._

_Q: Can I be cured from an eating disorder? Am I crazy?_

_A: You are not crazy, and yes, you can be “cured”. Mental health conditions are just as “curable” as things like the common cold or broken bones. It doesn’t mean you won’t ever get it again, or that it won’t hurt in the future, but you will now know what to do._

_Please contact a trained psychologist or counselor today. Having a mental health condition is not shameful, suffering in silence is shameful. Please let us help you_."

Next to it was another poster with an endorsement for the school's psychologist program by fellow student and actress Im Suyi: 

“ _I Have Struggled With Anxiety and Body Issues. You can get help too and feel better, just like I have. Let’s ‘Be Okay’!”_

"Hey Rai! I found you! You must be hungry, huh? First day in a new school in a new country after all, I’d be fuc—I mean, starving….that’s good because I promised you lunch today, right? Let’s hurry up and go before all the good stuff is taken.” Shinwoo jerked his thumb towards the counter in the front of the room. 

Raizel followed after him, drawn in by the hypnotic sight of the vividly colorful food. The choices and how well they went together and combined to form a “proper meal” reminded him of the meals Frankenstein would insist on serving him at their manor, despite Raizel informing him repeatedly he should use the food for someone who needed it to survive, not just for pleasure. Frankenstein, of course, would hear nothing of it. “You need to eat a balanced diet like anyone else,” he would reply. 

This school could not belong to anyone else, he mused. From the sterile cleanliness, to the simple yet tasteful decor choices, to the posters educating students on mental health, to the meals perfectly planned to both give the children proper nutrition while also tasting delicious, it had Frankenstein’s marks all over it. 

Shinwoo handed him a plate before getting one for himself; he then moved down the line, selecting what he wanted and didn’t want. He put “only the good stuff” on Raizel’s plate, informing him apologetically that unfortunately today wasn’t “Cheat Day”, so Western food wasn’t being served. Only “healthy Korean food”. 

In the end, Raizel ended up with a rice dish with a purple tint, a murky soup that looked like the bottom of an algae filled lake, a cut vegetable covered in a red sauce, and some round balls that were bouncy and squishy to the touch. How cute. These were Raizel’s favorite; he couldn’t help but pick them up and squeeze them over and over. Why were they so ….squishy? Squishy like...a newborn kitten’s face. 

As they sat down at a table, Shinwoo started to describe what each food was and the best way to eat it; “That rice is purple because the rice itself starts out black, so when you’re cooking it it dyes the water completely and it looks like you’re a witch preparing a spell or something,” “that soup is seaweed and fermented bean paste soup, it looks like you’re stranded in a swamp and the only thing to eat to survive is the dirty water all around you but it tastes really good,” “that’s kimchi, it's our national dish. It’s really good! It’s fermented cabbage in a really spicy sauce with garlic and hot spices,” and “those are mochi, they’re sticky rice balls filled with really sweet fillings. Those look like green tea. I like the red bean ones better, but those are good too. They're really fun to squish squish squish, aren't they?" he added, noticing Raizel had picked one up and was looking at it curiously. 

"Very squishy," he agreed. "Is this….food you can eat?" 

"Mochi? Yeah, what else would you do with it?" 

"There are foods you swallow and foods you spit out, aren't there?" 

"That's not really food then, food you digest, otherwise it's not food, it's like….gum." 

"Gum?"

"Yeah you know, the rubbery stuff that tastes like mint or cotton candy that you chew and it makes your breath smell good."

"And you….don't swallow that?" 

"You shouldn't. My mom's a nurse and she has the worst stories about people coming into the ER after swallowing gum and it glues their intestines together." 

That didn't seem right to Raizel, but he also didn't know enough about human biology to dispute it so he nodded and pretended to understand. 

"Eat your food before it gets cold! Start with the soup first. So to eat miyeokguk, you gotta eat it with the rice or it doesn't feel as filling. But save some rice to eat the kimchi later, if you eat kimchi on its own you'll get the worst stomach ache you've ever had and you'll pray to God for forgiveness of your sins. Trust me."

He looked into the bowl of soup; it looked like the murky lake on their property where the wild fish and frogs lived. The fish would swim through the muck and the slaps of their tails would bring dust and sand to the surface, distorting his view. He took a spoonful before accompanying it with the rice like Shinwoo suggested. It was nicely bland, and its taste very subtle. It was exactly his kind of food; so many human foods were so salted or spiced or flavorful it made his tongue hurt. How did they live with all that constant sensory exposure? Exhausting. 

"So? You like it?"

Raizrl nodded affirmatively. "It's very bland. I like bland food."

"Oh right, foreigners have baby tongues. You can't stand any flavor or spice." 

Looking at the rest of the food on the plate, he decided to leave the kimchi for last. It reeked of…... _garlic_ . He _hated_ garlic. Even if he was well educated and worldly enough now to know that humans regularly used garlic in their food and that it wasn't necessarily meant as an attempt at poisoning him, he hated garlic. It was so bitter and disgusting. It smelled strong and it tasted strong….garlic never had a chance for him to like it, he thought. They were fated to be mortal enemies, locked in intense combat to the death, neither one giving in or giving up….

He decided to try the kongnamul muchim next. As he took a bite, he smelled (tasted?) that characteristic stench of garlic. _More_ garlic. What was with humans here and their obsession with garlic? The garlic wasn't as bad as it was in the kimchi (it was overpowering from over there, and he hadn't even lifted it near his mouth yet), so he could manage this. 

"What do you think?" Shinwoo garbled through a mouth full of food. 

"It's very…. Garlicky."

"Oh, you don't like garlic?"

"No, I….hate it."

"Garlic is really popular in Korean food. You'll get used to it living here! How long are you staying anyway?"

"Ah…..I don't know."

"Oh, great! You're gonna be here a while then, right? I'll get you to like garlic by the time you go home. Let me, Han Shinwoo, be your guide to Korean culture!" 

"Shinwoo, are you bothering exchange students again?" 

Raizel looked up to see a young woman with shoulder length blue hair (blue hair? Was that….a natural human color?) and a “modified” school uniform (from what he could tell? It was different from other students..). She seemed familiar, from somewhere…..

Shinwoo scowled. 

"I'm not _bothering_ him, we're _friends_. I make _friends_ with foreigners, Suyi. I understand them, Miss Look at Me and My Perfect English." 

The girl who was apparently named Suyi sat down next to him. "Is he bothering you? He likes to bother foreigners,” she asked him, ignoring Shinwoo’s offended squawk. 

"He is not bothering me. I asked him to have lunch with me. Instead, I might be bothering him by making him have to explain everything to me,” he replied earnestly, unintentionally ignoring Shinwoo as well. 

"Aw, don't bullshit me, Rai. We're friends, that's what friends do." 

"Friends?"

"Duh, what else would we be?"

"...You make friends so easily in this country." 

"It's the Korean spirit of friendliness and hospitality! You're lucky you went to school _here_ , and not in Japan. They're so rude and disrespectful there and they _hate_ foreigners,” he whispered this last part in a sotto voce, as if he was telling Raizel a secret, just between the two of them. 

Suyi slapped him on the back of the head. "Stop lying and spreading bullshit. And don't talk with your mouth full."

"I'll do what I want!"

"Like hell you will. We both know who can win in a fight, so don't even start with me."

"Ooh, Suyi-nim, what will people say about your attitude when they find out? You'll be all over discussion boards with people sharing their own stories about how nasty and rude you were to them and how you made them cry. You might even make it to NetizenBuzz, and there’ll definitely be Naver articles about you..."

"I'm only rude to those who deserve it. Someone needs to stand up to those trolls and scummy old men who grope teenage girls. _Pedophiles_. I'd like to see them _try_ and ruin me. I'll bring them down without a second thought. I have the receipts, and Ikhan has the skills." 

"You’ll make us so proud, Suyi,” Shinwoo fake sniffed as Suyi rolled her eyes in exasperation, “I can’t wait for the video compilations on YouTube so I can tell everyone that _I_ knew Im Suyi before everyone else……." he dabbed his eyes with a napkin. 

"You should save this Baeksang worthy performance for Yuna. She should be here soon."

"Oh yeah, where is she, anyway?"

"Here!" 

Raizel didn't see where the voice came from for a second. The person was hidden behind bowls and bowls of food. Carefully, so no one would suspect anything, he exerted the littlest amount of telepathic energy to lift the bowls off her hands. She wouldn't know what happened, only that it felt lighter. 

"Jeez Yuna, do you need help?"

"Ah, I'm okay. Promise." 

"Why did you get so much? That's so dangerous, you know," Suyi chastised lightly, standing up to take some bowls off of Yuna. She handed them Shinwoo. "Take these," she instructed.

He did as instructed, not complaining for once, and laid them out on the table to create a spread of dishes. 

Raizel watched as always. People mistook his silence for many reasons: not paying attention, not understanding, not caring. It wasn't any of these. He didn’t have anything to _say_ . Why did one have to speak constantly to fit into society? It was _exhausting_. 

The girl named Yuna went to sit down next to him, but Shinwoo loudly complained, “ _I’m_ sitting next to Rai! Get your own foreigner, Yuna!” so she sat next to Suyi instead. 

“So, your name is Rai, huh? Are you new here? I haven't seen you before, but I've been out lately…." Suyi started.

"Ah. Yes. This is my first day." 

"Oh wow! How have you liked Korea so far?" Yuna asked.

"Everyone is so nice. You…...make friends very easily here."

"That's a relief…. but ...people aren't friendly where you're from?"

He thought back to all the conniving, scheming, plotting, and backstabbing all too common among Lukedonia's elite….

"....No. Not really."

"Oh….I'm sorry. That sounds awful…..Well, since you're here, we'll be your friends! That way, you're never alone, right? Here in Korea, being alone is…..not good." Yuna finished with a small smile. Raizel gave her a small one back. So caring towards someone she had just met….

“You sound like an ahjumma, Yuna. Only old people think being alone is bad luck nowadays.”

Yuna bristled. “Just because it’s old doesn’t mean it’s _bad_. It’s a tradition for a reason; bad ideas don’t last for a thousand years.”

It sounded like he had arrived in the middle of an argument; they must have this argument often, he reasoned.

"Shinwoo, where is Ikhan? You two never go out for lunch without each other…." Suyi interrupted, picking at her kongnamul. She did it with the practiced ease of someone very used to this situation; he supposed his older brother could relate, having had to break up many of Raskreia’s tantrums before they could develop fully, and having to constantly smooth over her relationships with others. 

"Detention. Got caught hacking into the school computer system."

“What??”

“ _Again_?”

The two responses came simultaneously; Yuna’s upset shock, and Suyi’s exasperated disappointment. 

“Yeah! He’s got a business now, charges people 30,000 won to change things that will go unnoticed, like absences, homeworks, quiz grades….stuff like that.” 

“.....A business is a business no matter what. At least he’s showing ambition and business sense,” Yuna said, trying to be supportive. 

“What 'business sense'?! Don’t you see how sloppy his work is? The first rule to breaking the law is to _not get caught doing it_. Did I teach him nothing?” Suyi grumbled, disappointed. 

“Another rumor post in Naver, I can see it now…. _Teenage Actress Im Suyi Has Criminal Past; Taught Friends to Break the Law.”_

“I didn’t teach him how to _break the law_. I taught him how to _not get caught_. His own uncle is police chief, you really think he wouldn’t have learned a thing or two?”

“Suyi was telling me about her new concept and project,” Yuna interjected, trying to stop the argument before it even got started. They seemed to have many arguments, Rai noted; was this normal for human teenagers? When nobles had arguments, they were full of passive aggressive comments and slights and violence. “Isn’t that right, Suyi—-oh, Rai, did you know Suyi is a famous actress?”

“An actress…..like in a story?” 

“Yeah, like in movies and TV and stuff. I haven’t gotten any “big” roles yet, but I’m actually glad because being the main star is _exhausting_. You work the longest hours, have the most lines to remember and scenes to shoot, you can’t go home at all until filming is over, you’re constantly under supervision by the media and public, just waiting for you to make the smallest mistake so they can pounce on you like a lionness hunting its prey….no wonder why most top actresses are total bitches," Suyi stated, taking a bite of her food. Yuna glanced at her disapprovingly. 

"You're so direct and blunt… .how did you make it as an actress again?" Shinwoo asked. 

"I'm good at what I do."

"Acting?"

"Of course, what else do you need to succeed in the entertainment industry?" 

Their words were innocent, but they seemed to have … another meaning under their words. He understood the art of subtlety in noble culture, but he had no idea what they were talking about now. How frustrating. 

"Suyi, tell Rai what your new concept is!"

"It's a Femme Fatale in a 1960s film noir aesthetic. Like the "innocence" of Marilyn Monroe laced with the constant knowledge that I could snap your neck at any moment vibe of Natasha Romanov."

"....." 

"Do you…..have television in …… wherever you're from, Rai?" Shinwoo asked after some silence.

".....What is a ‘television’?"

"You know, the square box made of metal and plastic that has a big screen with videos on it?"

"Like the ones in the store windows?"

"Yeah, exactly!"

"We did not have television when I was there last, but I have not been home in a long time...."

"You don't even watch television??? What do you do for fun? After school, I _have_ to take you to the PC Bang. It would be _criminal_ if I didn't. Poor Rai, you've been so deprived…..don't worry, this hyung is here to take care of you now," Shinwoo proclaimed, proudly jabbing his thumb at himself. "Suyi, Yuna, you guys coming too?"

"I would love to come, but unfortunately, I have to go to practice. I'll come next time."

"I have hakgwon to go to…...Shinwoo, don't you have your taekwondo hakgwon today?" Yuna asked, concerned. 

"This is a matter of national pride, Yuna. Teacher will understand."

"She'll make you come demonstrate with her in front of the class and then beat the shit out of you," Suyi corrected. 

"Yeah, she'll understand." 

“So, Rai, where are you from?” Yuna asked, after a long period of silence. 

“Lukedonia.”

“Oh…. and where is that?”

“It’s …. the land beyond the forest. In between the mountains and rivers. Where the sky meets the sea.”

“Oh, I see….it’s in Europe?”

“....Europe?”

“Yeah, you know Fransu, Germanie, Supain…..” Shinwoo clarified, though it wasn’t much of a clarification at all; Suyi gave him an unimpressed look that he chose to ignore.

“.....”

“....?”

“....Ah, yes. Definitely. Europe.” 

The bell rung again; this fast paced human life was exhausting. How could they have so much energy? Students began to get up, put their plates in the dish return, and file out. 

"It was nice to meet you, Rai. I'm sorry I can't go with you two today, but duty calls. I'll go with you next time, promise," Suyi said, extending her pinky to him. He looked at it confused, before imitating her and extending his own. She twisted them, before touching their thumbs together. 

"This means it's a vow. If I break my word, my finger will be cut off." 

"......Who would cut your finger off? Is someone threatening you? Do you need help?" he asked, very concerned. This was the second time he had heard about torture in this school today; was the human world much more brutal than he had realized?

She laughed, "No one, it's just an expression! Don't worry, our fingers are safe. Promise." 

He sighed, reassured. Suyi and Yuna waved goodbye, promising to see them in class. 

"Rai, do you know what class you're in?"

"...No."

"The principal didn't give you anything?"

"The principal" had given him many things, but he didn't think many of them were appropriate to mention in this conversation…..he thought for a second. Had Frankenstein given him some paper that morning? He reached into his jacket pocket, pulling out a slip of paper and handing it to Shinwoo.

"Oh, good! Okay, it says you're in room 301. Hey, you're in the same class as us! How lucky!" he said, patting Rai on the back, "Okay, come on, let's get to class before we get in trouble ….again. But if anyone stops us, you don't speak Korean and I'm helping you, okay?"

He nodded. 

"That's great, you even look confused! You're a really good actor, you know? Hey, why don’t you ask Suyi if you can be an extra in her next movie?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> •I get told constantly by my Korean friends I have baby tastebuds. Its true the first and only time I've had ddeokkbokki I cried bc it was so painful. That's not that's torture and yall are just playing a game with me I know it  
> •tru story one time I really wanted kimchi and rice for lunch but I didnt have ant rice on campus so I just ate some kimchi and my Korean friend warned me but I didnt listen and during class an hour later I thought I was dying the heartburn was so bad. Dont do it hoe  
> •korean lunch food is actually food, I guess it's a consolation for unofficially forcing students to stay at school until 10 PM through parental and societal pressure  
> •but bc this is Frankenstein's school we have child labor laws in this family  
> •the early rai encounters ramen for the first time scene is one of my favs, he wakes up after 820 years, follows people to a building, is entered into school, and then is treated to a meal by people who have been very nice to him and his first thought is "these peasants are trying to kill me". Like hes not even mad they're trying to kill him, just offended they're not doing it well  
> •rai be like if u told me humans had six feet and three heads I couldn't call you a liar bc Humans  
> •suyi is a badass I love her so much she will beat you up Shinwoo dont fuck with her  
> •this is a relatively moderate view of japan in korea actually do not ask a korean person about japan unless you feel lucky that day  
> •hes also obviously being an idiot on purpose  
> •"I heard she does car commercials.....in Japan" ppl on Suyi probably  
> •good thing Suyi doesn't want to be a big actress the entertainment industry doesnt like celebrities with self respect  
> •but u go girl bring those pedophiles d o w n  
> •stop being an ahjumma yuna god  
> •sex they're talking about sex  
> • Squish squish squish


	3. Romance, Ragar, Rap

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ragar Kertia is living his best life when he meets someone ~special~ roaming the streets of Dongdaemun. They go on an ice cream date. Ragar reminsces of his old lady friends at the cafe. Rai is enjoying himself. Ragar's phone gets broken for the fifth time this month, but who's counting (Frankenstein. Frankenstein is)

Ragar had just returned from a trip home to Lukedonia to handle a few small tasks and responsibilities requested of him by Frankenstein when It happened.

One of the things on his list was “make sure that that one eyed ingrate doesn’t defile Master’s manor with his filth." Ragar did indeed make sure that Urokai did not enter or have anything to do with Sir Raizel’s home; in fact, he had arranged with an older noble woman from the lands surrounding Sir Raizel’s estate to keep an eye out and report any strange activity to him. In return, she would get a very lovely woven cape made with techniques and materials exclusive to the Kertia lands; it was a fair trade, if not a bit too favorable for the old woman, but anything was worth it to protect Sir Raizel. 

The lands surrounding the Noblesse manor were very sparsely populated, being so far from the capital after all. It had been built so far from the capital as an ancient proviso to limit the amount of power the Noblesse could have over the Lord; such a distance ensured there would be less chance of a coup or power play endangering the stability of Lukedonian society. (Theoretically, of course.) (Not that Ragar knew anything about sedition or backstabbing. Nothing at all.)

No one wanted to live near the Noblesse lands because of its remote location, it was true, but it was also because of another reason: the prospect of living right under the eyes of the enforcer of the law was perhaps too daunting. Once, Ragar might have wondered what they were so worried about; if they were not committing crimes, why should they fear the Noblesse? 

Now, after travelling the world with Frankenstein, Ragar knew better. They _were_ committing crimes; that was why they were so scared of the Noblesse. 

He had always thought it was funny, how scared they were of Sir Raizel, how they portrayed him as a cold hearted and serious killer who cared nothing for the basic pleasures of life and would abuse his power in an instant. Even as children, Sir Raizel was the kindest, most compassionate noble Ragar had ever met; he would mediate disputes between birds and prevent fights between the foxes that lived in the woods. (He thought this was a bit extreme, but he could not fault Sir Raizel's compassion. Ragar had also learned from personal experience that foxes frequently and quite aggressively had disagreements with each other, and if one was not Sir Raizel and valued their eyesight, it would be in their best interest to not interfere.) Ragar could hurt him in sparring and _Sir Raizel_ would apologize. As young children, Raskreia could push him down and steal his toys, and Sir Raizel would say nothing. 

Compared to the current Lord, Sir Raizel was extremely forgiving and lax as the enforcer of justice. Raskreia, unsure of her new role, had been overdoing her no nonsense Lord persona a little too much lately. (Ragar could say this as he was no longer a liege of the Lord, and as a private citizen, he could think whatever he wished.) He knew she was trying to compensate for not having her father’s authority and control, but Ragar also knew how the renegade nobles operated themselves. This insecurity was seen as a huge weakness they could exploit; they could use it to manipulate her into unintentionally doing their bidding. They could use it as evidence she was not fit to rule, despite having been accepted by Ragnarok. (Raskreia had not appreciated him telling her this. It did not matter, Ragar would tell her regardless.)

The first objective on his list being cleared, he moved onto his next. Lukedonian politics and giving Raskreia unsoliticed advice as a private citizen was unfortunately not on his list, so he was forced to move on.

The next object on the list was to give the Lord the information he had collected on the habits and connections of the traitors in the human world; as a noble who was known to be both incredibly loyal and extremely knowledgeable about human society, Ragar was the perfect collector of such information. Of course, the Kertia were natural born spies, but his other traits did not hurt either. (This was not politics, this was espionage and intelligence collecting; they were very different things, and thus fell under the classification of "things on Ragar's To Do list.")

Recently, he had been following a trail of suspicious activity in the Swiss Alps involving money laundering in the drug trade. It was connected to a series of strange deaths. Normally, as he had found out through voraciously watching television documentaries, strange deaths were not unusual in the drug trafficking world; however, these deaths were not usual run of the mill executions. For every single case, the coroner had stated the cause of death was "unknown" and that the body was found under "extremely suspicious circumstances," but he could not posit any explanation for death. Ragar, however, had an idea.

He had not gone to human medical school or trained as a human doctor like Frankenstein had, but he knew something about how nobles killed quietly and without detection. 

The murderers were most likely draining the body of its energy and then disposing of it wherever it was most convenient; these traitor nobles were making false contracts with unwitting human victims, and then, like some of the insects Ragar had seen on television, slowly draining the slave of all of its energy and life force. The victim would get weaker and weaker with no known cause, leading others to believe they had succumbed to an unknown illness. 

Ragar had a suspicion that Zarga Siriana and his “cronies” were behind this recent string of murders; Zarga had fled Lukedonia a few decades after his plot to assassinate the Lord was unveiled. Why Zarga had planned to kill the Lord was unclear, when it certainly would not benefit him in any substantial way. If asked to speculate however, Ragar would say it was probably something like, “I didn’t feel like it anymore." That seemed to be his reasoning for most of what he did. 

That was the information he had presented to the Lord, but it seemed that now he had even more important news to deliver; while deciding to stop by his favorite ice cream shop for a sundae before meeting Frankenstein at the school, he had done the near impossible: he had _found_ _Sir Raizel._

Sir Raizel was wandering around the streets of _Dongdaemun_! Dongdaemun! What was Sir Raizel doing wandering the streets of Dongdaemun? Where had he been? Where did he come from? What happened to him?

It did indeed look and feel like Sir Raizel…..but what if it wasn't? Ragar briefly recalled a movie he had watched about a human spy who poses as a mob boss to gather "intel" on his family and associates while the real mob boss was being held in a cell at the police station.

Was Sir Raizel being held somewhere dark and cold, tied up and tortured (not in the fun way), all alone? Was this a carefully laid imposter intent on stealing all of his secrets? It did not seem likely. Maybe it was simply someone who just looked like Sir Raizel; Frankenstein had definitely made enough false alarm sightings himself. He would wait and watch until he made up his mind.

Being careful to not be seen, he ducked around a car and hid behind a tree, using the car's rear view mirrors to see. He carefully monitored the suspect to make sure there was no suspicious behavior; that was why he was a suspect, after all; because he had _suspecious_ behavior. He had seen this trick in many detective movies before, and was secretly very excited to try it out himself. 

"Sir Raizel" had stopped at a candy booth and was intently looking at the choices; he had spent so much time that Ragar himself was beginning to become bored. 

He heard a shout behind him, and turned his head, eager for the activity. Turning back, he was then captivated by the cherry blossoms trees in bloom that lined the streets of Seoul; their blossoms falling gently to the ground before being trampled by the hectic lifestyle of humanity: always on the move, faster, faster, faster….sometimes it was nice to just appreciate cherry blossoms and not worry about schedules or deadlines (not that Ragar had any, but the lives of the humans around him had many, and it seemed so exhausting).

He had been so caught up in his daydreams that he lost track of his target; the candy display that his suspect had been standing behind had long vacated its spot. He cursed at himself for losing track...again. Just like when Frankenstein had first come to Lukedonia and had tricked him and Sir Gejutel with a childish prank…..how embarrassing. The (former? Retired?) Clan Leader of a clan notorious for its tracking and stealth skills couldn't keep track of his own target. What would other nobles say when they found out? Other clan leaders? How mortifying, he could _not_ let anyone know----

"Ragar?"

Ragar spun around so fast he whacked his head on a tree branch. 

"Si-Sir Raizel!"

“Ragar, I am glad to see you....well…..” Sir Raizel trailed off, apparently unsure if mentioning Ragar whacking his head on a tree was socially appropriate or not. He changed the subject quickly to spare him any painful indecision.

“Sir Raizel, where have you been? Are you alright? What happened?”

“Ah….I was sleeping. I am fine, thank you for your concern,” he answered, casually avoiding the last question.. 

“I see. Do you know where we are, Sir Raizel? This is Seoul, South Korea. It is to the east approximately 4930 miles of Lukedonia.”

Raizel didn’t answer, only looking over Ragar’s shoulder at the multitude of outdoor shops with their merchandise on display, shops with colorful signs advertising 80% off (SALE SALE SALE TOP SALE 80% OFF signs proclaimed in English) and cute names like 까까야, the crowds of tourists around Heunginjimun Gate, and the cherry blossoms floating in the breeze. Ragar waited patiently; after all, what was a few minutes compared to a hundred years?

“Humans…..have moved so fast, have they not, Ragar?” Raizel said finally, turning towards him.

“They have indeed, Sir Raizel…..would you like to go out for ice cream? It is a frozen treat of dairy and sugar.”

“I would like that very much. It sounds….fun.”

Ragar brightened. “It is indeed very ”fun”! We will have so much “fun”, Sir Raizel!”

“I trust your judgement, Ragar. Do what you will with me.”

\------------------

Sitting in the ice cream parlor, (Cafe LN, it was called) Ragar considered his situation.

The cafe he chose was a very traditional styled cafe; it was located in an old traditional style Korean home, with only mild technological advancements added (the essentials: wifi, electricity, indoor plumbing). It was also very quiet: there was no loud television blasting in the background, and the clientele seemed to be mostly old people who came to read the morning paper with some tea.

He had chosen a more subdued location than the ones he frequented with Frankenstein, (loud, bright, crowded, messy) because Sir Raizel always had a more subtle personality; and because humanity had indeed changed a lot. To wake up a hundred years later and be suddenly thrust in a crowded and busy cafe would be very jarring and uncomfortable, and Ragar could not disrespect Sir Raizel like that. 

"How is your ice cream?" Ragar asked as he watched Raizel lick it delicately. (There had been a moment where it looked like he would try and _bite_ it, before Ragar corrected him. Ice cream was a licking food, not a biting food, as Ragar himself had learned.)

"It is very sweet. I am enjoying it immensely," Raizel answered, running his tongue along the edges of the cone to prevent sticky white drips on the floor. 

Sir Raizel had gotten chocolate chip cookie dough, while Ragar had gotten strawberry; the first time he had eaten ice cream with Frankenstein, he kept making comments about the _color_ of the ice cream, and the way Ragar was _eating_ it. He liked to experiment with different flavors, but strawberry remained his favorite for the memories of that day (for both Frankenstein's frustrated expression and the amusement he felt).

They sat in amiable silence, watching the old ladies and men read their newspapers and drink their tea. There was a particularly rowdy group of old women who came every Thursday to have tea and pastries and chat and gossip among themselves; Ragar had been invited (more like ordered, but Ragar was not complaining) to join their meetings. At first, they had thought he was a woman, but when they realized their mistake they had been even more excited. Each time they grilled him on every aspect of his life: where was he from, how old was he, how did he learn Korean, how was his Korean so good, was he single, did he have any siblings, what did he do, what were his hobbies, why was he in Korea?

Their questions came from curiosity and interest, not nosy intrusiveness, so Ragar did not fault them for asking rude questions. 

He answered them as well as he could: he was called Ragar Kertia, he came from a country in Europe, he was 2,000 years old, he stared into someone's eyes and he knew it fluently, he did not have any siblings, he did many things, his hobbies were playing Animal Crossing and watching movies to learn about human culture, and he was in Korea to help a friend who ran a private high school.

They seemed to think he was hilarious, and that his answers were meant to be funny jokes; at his age, they laughed and Yeongja said, "aren't we all!" Ragar then said that she did not look that old for a human, and they thought he was complimenting them. 

When he said how he learned Korean they laughed again,and Sunhee said dreamily, "that's how I learned how to kiss." Ragar nodded and agreed, saying he had learned to kiss like that as well. 

Miae had sighed and said, "I wouldn't mind teaching someone as handsome as you how to kiss."

Jungok hit her and said, "that is sexual harassment, Miae! You can't say that anymore!"

She scowled at her and rubbed her shoulder; "He can say no! I'm not making him do anything he doesn't want to do!" 

Bowing to social pressure, Miae apologized for her behavior and offered Ragar one of her toffee biscuits; he had ordered one of the cafe's newest creations, the Cloud Bread, so he shared some with her as well. Cloud Bread was a fluffy squishy bread loaf similar to Melon bread, but with the taste and consistency of lemon chiffon cake. It was part of a marketing campaign by a popular children's book, called Cloud Bread. Ragar had bought the books himself and cried. (They were not sad books; he was just very happy for humanity and animals to accomplish simple things, like making friends.) He then proceeded to write his own stories of the adventures of Cloud Bread and Nyang Nyang, so when he heard of this special promotion deal, he was very excited.

All this was to say, Ragar visited this cafe very often; and he was very excited to share it with Sir Raizel. 

The calm was disturbed by his phone loudly proclaiming 🎶 _Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's my number, so call me maybe_ ~🎶

He previously had it set to a song called 'Party and Bullshit' by a man named Notorious B.I.G. (though what he was notorious for, Ragar did not know), before Frankenstein demanded he changed it to something more "appropriate" for being out in public. Personally, he thought the lyrics of "Smoking blunts was a daily routine since thirteen," and "honeys want a snack, all I wanna know is where my cat at?" were demonstrative of the broad range of human emotion, but Frankenstein disagreed, calling it "vulgar" and "disgusting", so he had reluctantly changed it. 

He checked his caller ID and it was Frankenstein. He picked up. 

"We have a problem," Frankenstein stated, before he could even say hello. 

"What do you mean?"

"Master is missing."

Inwardly, Ragar was ecstatic; Sir Raizel wasn't missing any longer! And it was he, Ragar Kertia, who had found him. "......Frankenstein, this is not a new problem."

"That's not funny. I _just_ found him again, and then I let him go off with that miscreant Han Shinwoo, and now he's been gone for five hours, he was supposed to be back by now---"

".....what do you mean he was supposed to be back by now?"

"I mean, school ended at 3:30: it is now 7:02. Shinwoo is in detention; so where has Master been?"

Ragar looked concernedly towards Sir Raizel, who was sipping his tea and staring out the window, pretending like he wasn't listening to the conversation. Had....Frankenstein found Sir Raizel before him? Why hadn't he been informed? Or, was Frankenstein experiencing what humans called a momentary mental break under the stress of his job? 

"Ragar, are you listening to me?" The voice came from the phone's speaker, pulling him out of his reverie.

".....uhhhm. Yes. No. Maybe? I am not sure."

"You're not sure if you're listening or not?" Frankenstein's voice from the other end sounded extremely unimpressed.

"Yes. No... I am listening, but I do not know where Sir Raizel was." 

"Where he _was_?" he asked suspiciously. 

"Yes...I don't know where he was, but it is more likely that Sir Raizel has been moving, otherwise he would not be so late."

"I _knew_ he would get taken advantage of by some thug. I will search the streets north of the school, and you search the streets south. We meet up in Dongdaemun, understood?"

"Ah…. I will meet you at the house instead."

"Why? I thought you said you were going to that old lady cafe you like so much."

"...Ah yes...it is closed today so I am returning home."

"Fine. I'm going to start searching now. I'll meet you at the house," the phone call ended abruptly. Ragar sighed in relief and wiped his forehead (like he saw humans do in movies after a 'close call'). 

"Sir Raizel, we have a problem." 

Raizel took a sip from his teacup before setting it down gently. "I understand. I will handle it."

"I did not know you had already been awake for many hours--"

"It is all right." 

"I did not know you had already met Frankenstein, or I would have not persisted in making you eat ice cream with me--"

"I enjoyed it. It was my choice."

"I am sorry to have caused such a disturbance, I should have not presumed to know---"

"Ragar," Raizel interrupted as politely as one could interrupt.

"Yes, Sir Raizel?"

"It is all right. I will handle it," he said with a finality and assurance that rarely colored his voice. 

"....I see…."

Sir Raizel stood up elegantly, straightening his clothes and dusting off nonexistent crumbs or whatever other offending particles one could theoretically get on their clothes. "Are you ready?"

"...Yes, let us go." 

\-----------

"I cannot _believe_ you kidnapped my Master and forced him to go with you to, of all places, an ice cream parlor! What is this, your sad attempt to plan the perfect fairytale date where you share ice creams and then you kiss later when you're on the Ferris Wheel? Master just woke up and you're already using him for your own purposes? Did you even ask him for his opinion? I can't---"

"Frankenstein," Raizel interrupted. 

"Yes, Master?"

"I wanted to get ice cream, not Ragar."

"....yes, but I cannot believe you kept him out this late without contacting me, do you know how dangerous Dongdaemun is at dark? It's crawling with ahjummas that will flatter and coax you into buying all of their stock, and crazy religious fanatics who try to induct you into their cult---"

"Frankenstein," Raizel interrupted again.

"Yes?"

"Ragar wanted to return early. I kept him out late because I wanted to take a walk."

"...yes, I see, but I cannot believe you did not call me, Ragar! How hard would it be to pick up a phone or type out eight words, _Sir Raizel & I will be out late _, I can't imagine someone who is so obsessed with their phone that they're constantly on social media would have a hard time texting---"

"Frankenstein," Raizel interrupted for the third time.

"Yes?"

"I…..broke Ragar's phone. He was showing me how to type a message, and I tapped too hard….and the screen shattered."

"What, again? You broke another phone, Ragar? This is the third one this month, do you understand that? Do you think these things are easy to make? They're not like picking fruit off trees!" 

Raizel sighed. It seemed that this would take a very long time. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> •ragar goes to aesthetic cafes and instagrams them like everyone else  
> •ragars on some work for the lord, hes more than just a pretty face okay  
> •I want a spy novel where ragar tracks down various noble traitors and they're all involved in crime so by the end hes unintentionally brought down billionaires across the world, accidentally deleted all the records of debt collection agencies and has set up various neighborhood watch groups who were inspired by him and his long blonde hair and biker jacket  
> •ragar watches too many movies  
> •rai is here bc he and Shinwoo were supposed to go hangout and go shopping but hes in detention so Rai tried to go himself and got lost  
> •the places name means something cute like short snips, its a real life pet grooming salon  
> •cafe LN is a real cafe in Dongdaemun and its theme is hanok traditional korean building  
> •wanna write more about ragars adventures with these wonderful ladies (nothing sexual or romantic thank u very much)  
> • Rip rai 2,000+ years old and still cant control his power  
> •all the old ladies names are actually popular girl names in 1940s and 50s korea except for miae bc I wanted something more modern  
> •sale signs are actually like that in korea  
> •rai using his power for good to get ragar out of trouble and lectures  
> •cloud bread is a real kids book in Korea, but I made up nyang nyang. He has a cat friend but idk what


End file.
